Real Mom Talk: Picking Your Battles

Do you ever feel like you’re just picking your battles as a mom? Yeah, me too. Like almost every day.

Battles like is it really necessary for your kids to get dressed or can they just wear PJs all day? Even though they’ve already hit their screen time limit would you rather them be cranky or just watch another show? Do they really need to eat a balanced breakfast or will fruit snacks suffice for today?

I was always that parent that wanted to keep things consistent and routine for my kids. Most of the time (like with sleep training) I found that it worked better for them if I did. Although routine and structure are important for kids not everything has to be done at the exact same time every single day.

What does it really hurt if your kid wants to stay in PJs all day? Especially if you aren’t leaving the house anyway? What’s one day of going over their screen time limit every now and then? If you need them distracted for your sanity then just roll with it. And even if it isn’t the healthiest option, having fruit snacks for breakfast really isn’t going to damage them.

Some days these battles may seem like the end all be all, but in the grand scheme of things do they really matter that much?

This is the true story of how one mother (me) let the battle of having fruit snacks for breakfast consume her. There was a time when my daughter was about 9-12 months old that all she would eat for breakfast was fruit snacks. No matter how hard I tried to get her to eat a banana or toast or anything else, she refused. She would throw a fit and not eat anything unless it was fruit snacks.

I let it weigh heavy on me for a long time. I felt like a bad mom because I couldn’t get her to eat a healthier breakfast. I felt like a bad mom because I gave in to her demands. It took me a while to realize that it wasn’t really as big of a deal as I was making it out to be.

So she shouldn’t eat toast, so what? To me, it was more important that she ate something (anything). At the time I also had a newborn and felt completely drained most days. I just didn’t have the energy or willpower to put up a fight about breakfast so I just gave in. I let her have her way and I gave her the fruit snacks.

Giving in isn’t always a bad thing. You don’t have to be strong all the time. You can’t be the perfect mom…because newsflash NO ONE is!

Picking your battles doesn’t mean you are weak.

It doesn’t mean you are a bad mom. It simply means you are choosing what works best for you at the moment. It’s choosing your own sanity.

Sometimes letting them just have the fruit snacks for breakfast saves you from being a wreck all day. It saves you from having to deal with a major meltdown first thing in the morning. It saves you from wasting food they won’t eat. It’s not always for them. Sometimes it’s just for you.

Sometimes you need a mental break. Sometimes you need a minute to yourself. Sometimes you need peace and quiet. And that is OK.

Choosing not to fight a battle for yourself is a good enough reason.

Being a mom is hard. Some days are just tough. You do what you have to do to get through. You do what you have to do to keep your cool. Do what you have to do for YOU.

We’ve all been there. If it’s not fruit snacks it will be something else. In the grand scheme of things will your child be safe and taken care of? If the answer is yes, then the rest doesn’t matter.

So the next time your child puts up a battle over something that’s not that important just think about if it’s really worth the battle or not. Mom guilt is real and there are so many outside voices that can influence if you feel like you’re doing a good job or not. Try not to let them.

Just remember that you are a great mom. Even when you don’t feel like it. You are exactly who your baby(s) need. Hang in there and believe you are doing a good job.

Because you ARE!