Real Mom Talk: The Pressure to Do It All

You’ve heard it said “you can have it all” and that is true. Even as a mom? Yes, even as a mom you can still have it all. You can still chase any dream. You can still do what you want. You can still be who you are. Motherhood doesn’t define you. It changes you but it doesn’t define you. But while trying to have it all – do you ever feel the pressure to do it all? The pressure to do get everything done and in a timely manner? The pressure to hit every deadline and cross every to-do list item off your plate? I know I do.

I have especially been feeling this pressure a lot lately. My kids are a little older now so I have time for myself again. I have really prioritized my self-care and started chasing my dreams again. And I love it! I feel more like myself again. I feel double the amount of purpose because of it. I feel accomplished and like I’m setting the example that I want to for my kids. And yes, I do feel like I can have it all again. I can be a good stay-at-home mom and still chase my writing dreams at the same time. I can hit deadlines I give myself, hit professional deadlines, and keep my kids on a schedule.

So often I feel like there isn’t enough time in a day to do it all.

I know I’m not alone in that. My kids take up a majority of my time during the day and I love it. But while they are great at playing independently so I can sneak some projects in, I really try to stay present and spend quality time with them too. I know they’re only a little once.

While my husband works hard all day to provide for us, I am often exhausted and cranky when he gets home. I use my kid’s naps and bedtime to my advantage to get projects done even on the weekends. Which often times leaves quality time with my husband lacking.

Between home projects, my passion projects, the kids, the dogs, my husband, my self-care, and misc projects I just feel depleted some days. No matter how much I cross things off the to-do list keeps getting longer and longer. I feel like I’m always running around trying to get something done.

And the reason I do this is that I feel the pressure from all sides.

Pressure to be a good mom and make memories with my kids. Pressure to be a good wife and spend quality time with my husband. Pressure to keep the house clean and put together. Pressure to get all appointments done and not miss a single deadline. Pressure to take care of myself. And the pressure to do my side projects for me.

I feel the pressure not only from outside forces but from myself too. We’re often harder on ourselves than anyone else. We believe we can do it all and we try our best. But sometimes we fall short. That’s normal. We’re all only human after all. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or stressed or I put too much pressure on myself – I try to remember that. I’m only human.

It’s all about balance. The balance between going and being still. The balance between eating healthy and eating fast food because of the convenience. The balance between working hard and resting. The balance between chasing dreams and enjoying the here and now.

Everyone’s timeline is different. You can’t judge your success by someone else’s. When you think someone has it all together. Think again. We all struggle. No one’s life is perfect all the time. Life as a mom is hard and confusing. We’re all human. Trying to find yourself as a new mom can be a struggle, but you can get there.

Give yourself the time and grace you need.

If you want to go to work as a mom, you can. If you want to stay home as a mom, you can. If you want to chase crazy dreams, you can. If you want to stay where you are, you can. If you want to have one kid or ten, you can. Whatever you want to do, you can do it. It may not be easy and it may not happen as you plan. But you can do it.

From one mom to another, you CAN.