Real Mom Talk: The Stay-at-Home Mom Struggle

Everyone is getting a taste of the stay-at-home mom’s life currently. For some, like my sister, she is really enjoying the extra time at home with her kids while she only works every other day during this pandemic. Some may be struggling more as they aren’t used to being home 24/7 with kids.

But for others, like myself, this is our normal life. Even if staying home is your normal, your regular at-home routines have been interrupted too. There are no outside the home activities, sports, and you may even have extra kids in the house who are normally in school. It is an adjustment for all of us.

I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. In fact, it was an understanding that my husband and I had before we got married. That when we started having kids I would stay home with them at least until they were school age. It was always my desire to be able to do so. And I do love it.

I’m so thankful for a husband that was ok with me wanting to stay home and that he has always been super supportive of it and worked hard to be the sole financial provider for our family. I feel very blessed to be able to stay home. I know for many people that’s not the case even if they want to.

But being a stay-at-home mom is not easy.

There are ups and downs. You have good days and bad days. For anyone who thinks staying home is a walk in the park. It is not. I once read something that said being a stay-at-home mom is like working two full-time jobs and I completely agree with that assessment.

As a stay-at-home mom, you don’t get a break. Sure you may get little breaks here and there like when the kids are napping or if they are playing happily on their own for a minute during the day. However, you can’t come home at the end of the day to get away from work and have a break. Because you never left the house, to begin with.

You are home all day with the kids. You are home all night with the kids and home all weekend with the kids. So you essential don’t ever get a break. Don’t get me wrong, as I said, I love staying home with my kids but it is hard too.

Mom guilt is SO real, you guys.

I personally feel bad complaining about staying home, because I know I am so fortunate to be able to do so. I personally know others who would do anything to be able to stay home but they just can’t financially.

I love my kids so much and feel guilty if they drive me crazy sometimes. I feel guilty if I hit my limit of fights or tantrums and yell too much. I feel guilty if I’m not patient enough. I feel guilty if I need time away from my kids. I feel like as a mom the guilt just comes constantly for any little thing. Being a stay-at-home mom just adds another layer to the mom guilt.

Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I think it’s perfectly fine to not love staying home all the time. Who do you know that loves their job all of the time? I take my title as a mom very seriously. I love pouring into my kids, teaching them new things, and experiencing everything with them! Being a mom is a job. A very important job.

It is also important to still take time for yourself.

You will need a break some times and that is ok. One day that might mean a store run solo, a night off from the bedtime routine with the kids or a few minutes to take a nice long shower. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner for help and to take advantage of some solo time.

I don’t want to sound like I am just complaining. I am very much a glass half full, always look for the positive kind of person. But I also want to keep it real with both the good and bad of being a stay-at-home mom. If you’re like me, sometimes you just have to vent a little and then you feel better about the tough days.

Being a stay-at-home mom is just like any other job. You should be able to vent about your day at work even if that day is staying home with the kids. For me, the good times far outweigh the tough times. It is worth it to me to be able to stay home.

A big reason I wanted to stay home with my kids was that I didn’t want to miss out on the firsts, the big milestones and even the little moments that go along with kids growing during the early years.

Kids are so impressionable during the early years. I wanted to be able to instill in them core values and raise them to be kind and dream big. I genuinely love spending time with my kids and watching them learn and grow. I cannot imagine missing all these early year moments because they are only little once.

I know staying home isn’t everyone’s dream or plan and that is ok. With as much as I love staying home, I’m also “working” from home to grow a side hustle. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing either way whether you work outside the house, at home, or not at all. Find what works for you. There is no one size fits all, you have to do what works for you and your family.

Whether you’re a regular stay-at-home mom or a new one due to this current situation, no one is immune to the ups and downs of the stay at home mom life. It can be quite the rollercoaster but it is so worth it too. As hard as it is sometimes it is far more rewarding than anything else I’ve ever done in my life.

Give yourself some grace.

We all have good and bad days. Nothing is perfect in life. Your best is good enough. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom you CAN do it. If you’re a new or temporary stay-at-home mom, don’t be too hard on yourself. We all struggle with it. Being a stay-at-home mom can be challenging but it is so much more rewarding than anything else.

Hang in there. I see you. I understand the struggle. I am right there with you.

You are NOT alone!