The (Uncomfortable) Things No One Tells You About Postpartum

I tried to prepare myself ahead of time on what to expect about postpartum during my first pregnancy. But there was so much I didn’t know. Not many people I knew talked about it. I had to learn as I went mostly and was surprised at some of the things that happened that I didn’t expect.

Thankfully both of my pregnancies and births were pretty smooth. Even though both of my births were very similar, there were differences in both of my postpartum recoveries. I understand that talking about post-birth recovery can be uncomfortable but I wanted to share some of those uncomfortable topics in the hopes that it helps prepare someone else with what to expect.

Bleeding

Probably the biggest expectation of postpartum recovery is bleeding. It’s basically a longer, heavier period. It’s not pretty but it is a necessity for recovery. Your body has to shed the excess and you’ll lose weight as you bleed in recovery. One surprising thing I’ve learned from my friends is that you still bleed even if you have a C-section. You’ll need plenty of heavy-duty pads and it’s a good idea to keep an eye on the bleeding. Anything too excessive could mean a complication or another problem–your doctor should give you instructions on what to watch out for.

Soreness/Pain

One thing I heard the most before my first baby was how much your lady bits would hurt and be sore afterward. I had two vaginally births and honestly, it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. I never even used any pain meds after my first (not even Tylenol). While it wasn’t as bad as I thought pain-wise it was uncomfortable and I did LOVE the frozen padsicles I made prior to birth! I also constantly used my peri bottle and had another numbing spray the hospital gave me that helped a lot! Check out Post Partum Must-Haves for more on these items.

Everyone’s recovery is different and it can vastly vary for each child and birth. After my first, I was most uncomfortable down there during my recovery. While after my second, down there didn’t bother me hardly at all but I had horrible back pain and took medication for that instead.

Extra gas

During my postpartum recovery, I found I had extra gas. I don’t know the reason but it was way more than normal for me. Thankfully I stayed home mostly so I didn’t have to worry about this embarrassing factor in public. Lol

Air bubbles from lady bits

This was a very surprising discovery postpartum for me. I had not even thought about it prior to my first child. I had two vaginal births and after both, I experienced a lot of air bubbles/gas from my lady bits. It was uncomfortable and annoying especially when I was cleared to work out again. It felt like it lasted a long time but it was temporary and didn’t last forever.

The pain of sex again or not

I had heard of sex being painful after birth and was afraid of this. I had very different experiences after both of my births. The first time around it was painful having sex again once I was cleared to. It honestly wasn’t very enjoyable for me for a little while but that did eventually fade away. However, my second time around it wasn’t an issue at all. I had no pain at that time.

Hair loss

This was another surprising factor to me about postpartum recovery. Thankfully I didn’t suffer from it but I know others personally who have. It can be very stressful. My suggestion would be to keep taking vitamins to help and look into other options that could help. It will take some time for your body to adjust and go back to normal after birth. Sometimes changing a shampoo can help and there are natural remedies out there too. If you still struggle with hair loss after the normal hormonal adjustment period after birth check with your doctor. There could be an underlying issue that may be contributing to it.

Breastfeeding can be hard or easy

I had heard of struggles friends had with breastfeeding after having a baby so I knew this could be an issue. Thankfully, I had an amazing nurse who really helped me and walked me through breastfeeding because I was clueless as a first-time mom. Hospitals also have lactation specialists that can help so don’t be afraid to ask if you need help. Breastfeeding can be hard or easy depending on the situation, your child, and you. Some babies just don’t learn to latch and some moms don’t produce enough milk. There is no shame if you can’t nurse or choose not to. You have to do what works best for you and your family. I nursed both of mine until they turned one and then started weaning ASAP for my sanity because I needed a break. Just remember fed is best, no matter the reason!

Eating/hydration

If you are breastfeeding you will need to make sure you are consuming enough food/calories and staying hydrated. Because baby depletes so much of you, you’re supposed to consume extra. My sisters warned me how hungry I would be while breastfeeding, but surprisingly I wasn’t. I didn’t notice any change in my appetite while I was nursing and honestly didn’t consume anything extra than I normally would…but I did make sure to eat all of my meals and drink extra water constantly. Even if you aren’t breastfeeding, you’ll need to make sure to stay hydrated it will help aid in your recovery.

Exhaustion

I had always heard you would be tried after having a baby. Everyone knows that babies keep you up so much at night but I honestly didn’t expect it to hit me as hard as it did. I was exhausted and sleep-deprived a lot. It made me cranky and moody. After my first, I felt like I slept all the time whenever I could, any time of day. I was always tired. There is nothing to prepare you for this ahead of time. But I would just suggest being easy on yourself. If you don’t clean the house because you need a nap, let yourself sleep. If you don’t want to leave the house because you’re exhausted, then don’t. It’s a lot so don’t be hard on yourself. Give your body and mind the time it needs to recover. And don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Baby blues

The baby blues are normal. You learn about it in birthing classes and my hospital made me watch a video of it before I could be discharged. It’s normal to feel exhausted and overwhelmed at times. Your body and life have changed so much and your hormones are out of whack. If you are extra emotional that’s normal. If you need a minute to yourself that’s normal. It’s ok to put your baby in a safe place like a crib and walk away for a minute to clear your head if you can’t handle the crying. Your baby will be ok, you will be ok. If it’s too much or you have any questions reach out to your doctor. They are here to help you!

Postpartum anxiety/depression

I was never diagnosed with PPA or PPD but I did experience minor instances of them. With my first, I had the normal new mom anxiety. Waking to check if she was still breathing while she slept, constant hovering, and momma bear instincts. It wasn’t enough to be diagnosed with it and honestly, I think a lot of it was just from being a first-time mom and all the unknowns. It’s normal to worry and check on the baby constantly. After my second baby, I went through a downtime. Again, I wasn’t ever diagnosed with PPA/PPD and it was mild but I was unhappy. It was a lot adjusting to two littles under two and I was exhausted. I loved being a mom but I was just unhappy with life in general. I challenged myself to a 30 Days of Thanks gratitude challenge to change my outlook and it really helped me turn things around. In my case, there was a lot going on around me that had me stressed and down so the same might not work for everyone.

I have known others who have experienced full-blown PPA and PPD and it can be rough. If you think you or someone you know may be experiencing PPA/PPD reach out to your doctor. There are so many more resources out there than there used to be. Don’t be ashamed to get the help you need. We all need help sometimes. And your child is the first who benefits from a happy and healthy momma!

Pregnancy and birth are such a blessing and there are so many beautiful moments during the process. The 4th trimester (aka postpartum recovery) may be uncomfortable to talk about but it is so necessary! The more you know, the better prepared you are for it when the time comes. Just remember it is only temporary. Hang in there. You’ve got this!