Tips for Coping with a Clingy Baby

Have you ever found yourself stressed or frustrated with a little one who only wants to be held? Who only wants you, is extra clingy, and/or wants your attention constantly?

Baby’s go through so many phases as they grow and hit different milestones. Having a baby who seems extra clingy or has separation anxiety is completely normal. Feeling stressed or defeated during the clingy phase is completely normal too. I’ve been there myself. Lately, it has been quite often, if I’m being honest.

I’ve felt worn down and just at a loss some days. As much as I love my littles and want to enjoy the time when they want to be held now–it can be hard to find the joy in it sometimes. Some days I just want a minute to myself or to simply be able to make a quick meal without a baby on my hip.

My little guy has major separation anxiety lately due to his age, milestones he’s hitting, teething, and just a lot of life changes for our family right now. I have to keep reminding myself there is a lot going on for him and that I’m sure he is in sensory, and just general, overload these days.

I know firsthand how hard the clingy phases can be on you, as the mother. Because I have been there (and am here right now) myself, I have come up with some ways that can help you manage it too. Here are some tips and tricks that I’ve found that have been a sanity saver for me during clingy days.

**Keep in mind that there is no one size fits all for every parent, baby, or situation. What works for one person may not work for another. These are just some ideas based on my own personal experience of what I have found that can help ease the clingy phase.

1. Use a Baby Carrier

First and foremost, the baby carrier. If you don’t have one, get one! If you’ve never used one, try it. This has been my personal lifesaver on so many occasions with both my daughter and son. When my baby wants to be held but I need my hands free to cook or clean or do anything, it is the perfect solution.

There is something about the suspension of a baby carrier and having baby’s legs hanging that they just seem to love. My daughter would sleep in the carrier and loved being snuggled up close to me. My son gets excited whenever I get the carrier out. He recognizes it and knows exactly what it means. I even use it in stores with him when he gets tired of being in his car seat or in the cart.

An added bonus is that your baby is right on your chest, so if they are little you can have the comfort and security of checking their breathing (something I did quite often with my first). And you get that close contact with them for bonding, even if it’s not skin to skin.

2. Switch it Up

Try changing up your routine a little bit. Maybe your baby needs a little more stimulation or is simply bored. If I felt like our days were too routine I’d mix it up.

Try changing positions. If your baby has been laying on their back playing for awhile try some tummy time or sitting time in a bumbo. When my babies were little and nonmobile they would both get bored if in one position for too long. They couldn’t move on their own yet so I had to help. When they started getting fussy I’d move them around and they were much happier.

Keep your baby engaged. They love to interact and they learn everything by what you say and do. Giving baby something new to focus on can be a great distraction.

3. Get Outside

Another good option to switch things up is to go outside. I don’t know what it is but babies typically love being outside. Maybe it’s the change of light, sounds or smells. I’m not sure but they like it. If you normally spend most of your time inside try getting out a little more.

You could do some playtime outside in a pack n play, take a stroll with the stroller, swing at the park, or just simply walk around a little. When we visited family and my son was not sleeping well, my mom would take him outside and he’d nap on her every time. I also knew one baby who would be screaming but the second you stepped outside she’d go instantly quiet. It really does work!

4. Find Some Natural Remedies

I’m all about finding natural remedies. I look for the safest and healthiest solutions for myself, and especially for my babies. Ask a doctor and friends to see what remedies are out there that can help calm your baby naturally.

I have personally used chamomile tea (mostly with teething pain) and Essential Oils to help calm and relax my kids. My sister swears by the lavender nighttime lotion for her kids.

With everyone being more aware and cautious these days there are so many good natural options out there. You just have to do your research. Don’t jump into any one thing too quickly. And whenever in doubt, check with your baby’s doctor first.

5. Stick with What You Know

This is not a long term solution for clinginess, but whenever you are at your wit’s end and don’t know what else to do–do whatever helps to comfort and calm your baby quickly. No one knows your baby better than you. You know what they like and don’t like.

In the moments when your baby is fussy and all worked up, just do whatever works. It could be feeding, rocking, singing, etc. You get the picture. If your baby is instantly calm on a car ride or going outside or with their paci–just do it.

As I said, this isn’t a permanent fix and you don’t want to always give in to that one thing because it can then create bad habits. But on those days when you’re about to lose it and just need a break, just giving them what they want isn’t going to hurt anything.

Some may call it spoiling or letting them run things, but sometimes it’s just necessary for your own mental state. We’ve all been there. I know I have been there more than once. I’m guilty of just nursing my son when that was the only way to calm him down. Sometimes you just have to do it for your own sanity.

6. Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help

I know in the early days of motherhood I never wanted to ask for help. I thought I could do it all and that if I needed to ask for help it meant I couldn’t take care of my own baby. Mom guilt is so real you guys! It took having a second baby only 16 months after my first to realize I needed to ask for help more. I wish I would have asked for help more with my first when I needed it. Take a lesson from me and don’t be afraid to ask for help now.

Those who love and care for you aren’t going to think any less of you. Help comes in many different forms and it can look different for everyone. For some, it may be helping with household chores or running to the store. For others, it may be a babysitter for a night out or someone to hold the baby so you can just shower.

Somedays we all need help. No one can do it alone. Whether it’s a spouse, significant other, family, or friend, ask for help when you need it. You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised at how willing to help others are.

7. Find What Works for You and Your Baby

Last but not least, you need to find what works for both you AND your baby. Each person and child are unique and have different preferences. What works for one may not work for another. And that is ok. It’s perfectly normal.

In my own experience what worked for my daughter didn’t always (or even usually) work for my son. My daughter loved her paci and had special dolls that would help calm her down. Whereas, my son won’t take a paci and doesn’t have a favorite toy currently. My son has always loved movement: the car, stroller, swing, etc. And my daughter was always happy just playing with her toys and being moved to different positions to play. My point is: every child and situation is different.

Just because one thing worked for your first child, doesn’t mean it will work for your second. Age also plays a factor. Your child may outgrow that beloved swing or sling and not want it anymore. When that happens you just have to find a new favorite and roll with that.

Things are always changing as your kids grow and go through different phases. And likewise for you. Maybe you used to be able to just push them in a stroller when they were younger but now it’s winter or you’re going back to work and won’t be home to do it. In that case, you’ll have to find a new normal. The most important thing is for you to find a good solution that works for both you and your baby.

While this time is hard, try to remember it is just a phase. The clinginess will fade eventually. The days may seem long now but you will get through them. It may take some trial and error to find the right solution for both you and your baby but you CAN find it. Give these tips a try and see what works for you. Be patient with yourself momma, you got this!